who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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