Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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