It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
