You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My vagina is very pro this idea
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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