I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize