The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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