im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
