I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
