Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
