i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize