oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
