There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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