We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she peed on how many people?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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