I heard we made out
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
where am i from again
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
