Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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