He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
