The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize