she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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