He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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