to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
