party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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