I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
