i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
