I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize