chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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