So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
