Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
