As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
