I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
