i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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