love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
