she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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