I don't think brook has ever known best
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
