I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
