I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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