Kiss
Puke
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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