I got chris browned last night
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
