margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
