The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
