I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
