Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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