The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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