all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
