Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
