I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
