We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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