she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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