I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
