btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
