You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
