Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
