You're so nebulous sometimes
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
