Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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