Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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