Can Purell be used as lube?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
