Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize