Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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