So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
