i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
