About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
