I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
