Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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