i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
