I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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