Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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